PET SCAN APPOINTMENT

I left my cell number with the oncologist just in case they needed to contact her about the PET scan and they called today and left a message and I called back.  She is scheduled for February 14, 2012: Valentines day, to have a PET Scan.  She has to arrive by 10:30 in the morning and she will be given another call to inform her about the preparation for the appointment, basically directions on what she needs to do before.

I called my mom and gave her the information about her appointment and we chatted.  Today is the day I go out to Lemoore to grocery shop and run errands.  I asked her if she needed me to pick up anything. We want to go see that movie, " Extremely Loud, Incredibly Close."  and while she was on the phone she told me she wanted to call me last night but thought I'd be asleep and I told her I wanted to call her but thought the same thing.  We have that "ESPN" connection again.   She told me that she decided that she wants to go have pictures, have lunch and go see a movie that is coming out on my birthday.  I told her that she should go on her trip and she said she prayed about it and she feels like she needs to celebrate my birthday and then leave the next day.

I told her I would be by later to see her and wanted to take her and her friends pictures.  I called her later when I was on the way home from the grocery store and told her that I was going to put away the groceries and I would be over.  She sounds so tired on the phone.  I told her to get some rest and call me when she wakes up she said, "No you come over I will wait for you."  So I lugged in all the groceries and put them away and put together a bag of stuff that I bought for her at the store.  They had a sale on Cranberry juice and she loves cranberry juice so I picked up extra.

 I feel a sense of urgency to get back to her when I am gone.  She called me the other day just to tell me she was thinking about me.  I had just finished praying for her and the phone rang.  It made me feel like God heard my prayer and whispered in her ear to call me.  I don't want to overwhelm her with my presence but I want to be there when she needs me.

I pulled up in front of her building and she wasn't in her apartment,  I tapped on the door and Lori the property manager was there she let me in and said my mom was probably out on the bench where her posse congregate.
Her group of ladies consists of Betty who is several years her senior and rides around in a motorized chair but can get up and walk short distances.  She has salt and pepper grey hair ..  Arlene who has short blonde slightly wavy hair and a very pretty face.  She looks so good for her age. Arlene has a radiant tan from living in Hawaii before she relocated to Visalia.   She is my mom's bestie. These are just a few of the group she hangs out with.

We walked back to her place and my mom told me that she was tired.  We talked about going to see a movie but when you don't feel good you don't want to go anywhere.  She ate a plate of food Arlene had brought to her and she talked on the phone to her sister Ruthie, who is coming down tomorrow to stay with her for a few days.

We decided on the last minute that we would go to the mall and get some refills of the air fresheners at Bed Bath and Beyond.  When we got to the mall I asked her if she wanted a pretzel from Auntie Annie's.  Those pretzels are the best!  We both got a salted pretzel and walked over to the Bed bath and beyond to shop.  They had a special on those oil refills so I got her three and I got three for me.  While we were there they rolled down the metal doors which signaled to us they were closing.

I took her home, hugged and kissed her goodbye and had to go meet David for a late dinner because he had lodge.

Dragons and other scary beasts...like CANCER

Cancer is like...a great big scary beast you dare not speak it's name or it might swoop down on you and make you wish you had never heard of such a thing.   There are lots of different scary beasts in the world, as there are lots of different cancers, each one has a different name and personality.

We all went with my mom to her oncologist it was in Tulare.   I felt like my mom's entourage, we had her friend Arlene, my sister in law Robin, niece Monica and I.  We were informed that this cancer she has is NON-SMALL CELL CARCINOMA (Our Dragon has a name!)  I asked why its not large cell carcinoma and the doctor told us that there are five sub-categories of this cancer and its depends on what it looks like under the microscope.   He named them off and the only one I recall is squamous cell, the only reason this comes to mind  is my year of biology in college.  Her dragon is Adenocarcinoma and it's also the most common form of lung cancer.  The good news is this is a slower cancer then the small cell cancer cousin.  The bad news is there is a five year survial rate, and she is stage four.

While we waited for the doctor there was a poem in a frame on the counter in the doctors office.  He has a big, comfy, leather recliner in each exam room instead of an exam table for the patient.  So my mom sat in that chair and I spotted the poem and asked my niece Monica if she would read the poem out loud she declined she was afraid she would cry.  So I began to read it....

What Cancer Cannot Do

Author: Unknown

Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot eat away peace.
It cannot destroy confidence.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot reduce eternal life.
It cannot quench the Spirit.

We all sat in silence and everyone commented on what a nice poem it was, it reminded me of the bible verse about God's love. Romans 8:35 "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?"  The answer is nothing separates us from God's love.

The doctor seemed nice he was a short, older Chinese man with salt and pepper grey hair and spoke pretty good English. He was reassuring that chemotherapy has changed in the last thirty years, its not as hard to take and the side effects aren't as harsh. He asked the same questions that mom and Arlene has filled out on a form. It seemed redundant to ask them again, when they were answered on a paper before she was even seen.

I could tell my mom was irritated and in pain. She says her head hurts all the time and now her pain is in in her legs. I feel bad for her and all I could do is reach over and rub her back and reassure her silently. The doctor is ordering lots of tests: a PET Scan which basically injects sugar into the vein and cancer is attracted to sugar and where the cancer is, it glows brightly. This will give us a map of where our dragon has been in her body. The next test is a bone scan to make sure the cancer hasn't spread to her bones. And the last test is an MRI with contrast to see if it has spread to her brain. The scary part of this cancer is it spreads to the brain in 60% of the patients with lung cancer. I hope this isn't the case with her.

The group decides to go back to her house and Robin is going to pick up pizza. I had to attend a board meeting so I just had her drop me off on the way home. I asked Robin for a ride, because I wanted to talk to her after the appointment we hardly get to visit in our busy lives. I knew we would have things to say. They all went back and had pizza together. My mom said they had a nice time, and once again, she is surrounded in love.

Pepsi and quarters...

Olivia and Jessica Rager
 getting their groove on

My mom called me yesterday and asked if I would bring over some Pepsi.  I was at a rainbow installation with our girls and  I had planned to bring her over some last night but, I forgot that there was a dance after the installation and my girls love to dance!  We had a good time, we helped clean up afterward and I offered to drive some of the left over food home for the Hoffman family.  They looked exhausted.  It is a lot of work to host an installation, both their daughters were in gorgeous dresses and the food was wonderful.  I was happy to help.  We have a big Ford Excursion so it can hold lots of stuff and myself and three girls to help them cart all the food in.

Samantha, Savannah and Olivia

I woke up this morning and gave my daughters directions on getting their chores done.  We have a little girl living with us who is one year between the girls.  So we have 13, 12, and 11 year olds.  Savannah's parents became homeless right after Christmas and they are staying in a garage with her grandmother on the other side of town.  Savannah would of had to change schools and there really isn't room for her there.  We have plenty of room at our house and she is such a sweet little girl it's a blessing having her here. 

My mom had called me and asked for quarters for her washing machine; if I could pick some up for her, when I got her Pepsi.  So off I go to the dollar store, no sooner did my feet hit the door when my cell phone starts ringing.  It was Olivia and I could hardly understand what she was saying through her sobs.  "Momma, Sami-Jo is being mean to me."  I told her that she needed to get along with her sister and do her chores or she would be in big trouble when I got home.  That phone rang four times and each time unintelligible sobs came from the other end.  I finally had to say, don't call me again.  My brain was fried.  I felt so stressed out, I couldn't even find the money in my wallet to pay for my purchases.  I finally found it and the cashier was happy that I wasn't holding up her line anymore.  

I had planned to bring the Pepsi and quarters and stay for a short while.  Once I got to her apartment, she had to walk her dog, so we ended up outside with some of her friends sitting on a bench talking about their plans for the Superbowl and the party they are going to have.  My mom leans over to me and says, "I have been so busy since I moved here with all these party's."  We both looked at each other with a knowing glance.  We both know she loves the excitement.  Today's excitement included fire trucks responding to her housing complex because one of her neighbors decided to put her oven on the self clean cycle; and this oven was too dirty for this option.  The dirty oven smoked out the entire building, and caused the alarm to sound, the same alarm that sounded the night we found out she had cancer.  

We talked about her upcoming trip to Nevada to see her sisters. Aunt Ruthie lives in Nevada and Aunt Nornie would travel from the Bay Area and meet her in Sacramento.   She had been wanting to go see her friend Glenda, who she met at the blind center and she lives in Palm dessert, her friend Arlene; who would be giving her a ride there, was going to leave around my birthday and she didn't want to miss it.  I told her to go see her friend.   We could celebrate our birthdays together when she got back. We are just two weeks apart and twenty years difference in age.  I told her, "Mom you should travel while you feel healthy enough to; you never know how much time you have before you won't be up to traveling."

David, LaDon, Robby and Jeremy

I offered to put her wash in the machines, but my mom had to walk down to the laundry with me and show me how to wash clothes.  I had to chuckle a little bit, because I have been washing clothes for over twenty-eight years now.  I married a widowed man with two small children and I got thrown into the whole housewife gig overnight. I just stood there while she loaded the washers; all the time complaining about the fact that she HATES front loaders.  I had to get back home and take the body count see who was left standing after epic battle in the Gill home.  So I gave my mom a hug and kissed her goodbye and left for home.  

I drove down our street and was relieved to see all three girls and Olivia comes up to my window and announces, "Our bikes got jacked!" I was so mad! I said in a very calm voice, "Both your bikes were stolen? In a louder voice I asked, "Why weren't they locked up on the porch?"  No one could answer that question for me.  Later they came to me and said they suspected that they were locked together and someone stole them both.(Highly doubtful!)  I laugh now as I am reading this because they must have thought about this for quite some time and came up with an answer that would deflect any blame that might be coming their way.