memories of Judy!

I placed a basket with purple ribbon around it on a table at the entry, these are the things people wrote:

Judy was an angel sent from heaven.  In my time of need, Judy came into my life to
help care for my five minor daughters.  It was a miracle how Judy bonded with them,
she actually became a grandmother to them.  To this day Judy still holds a special place in our hearts.                                   Paul Sanchez

                                                  ~~ My Judy~~

Lots of wonderful memories of Judy.  I met her when she started working for my brother Lonnie at Hannah's Triangle in Ivanhoe.  First great memory was when she made me a  barbie cake for my 18th birthday. She became a true best friend over the years- We got wild together. She was going through a midlife thingie and I was 21 so we did lots of dancing at  Faces, Marco Polo, El Presidente, (Flinstones). And then our next phase of life was just a true caring, loving relationship. Judy was in my wedding. I cherish my friendship with her above all others. She never forgot my birthday or my kids birthdays, never forgot mine or Donnie's wedding anniversary! She was amazing. I will miss her more than I can express.             <3 Kelley Joslin

  

"Every memory is an amazing one that will never be forgotten."
                                                    No name

"Even though I didn't know Judy, she seemed really nice.  She couldn't see or move around on her own very well, but think about it, she's in a better place she can do all those things now.  I know you're sad now, but think about it
she's in a better place and you will see her again."  
                                               Krystiana James

 "Judy was the brightest light in Ivanhoe.  She made the Triangle a joyful place to work."
                                                         Jimmie Hannah

"Judy will be missed by all at Sierra Medows.  She always had a smile on her beautiful face."                                                  No name

"Grandma Judy,

          You will always be in my heart. 
                    Your friend,"  Paula Ortiz

"I remember how vibrant she was!  So much fun! She was the "life" of the 8:00 AM Coffee hour.  Things picked up when Judy got there!  She never let her "seeing disablility" get in her way,  She was so funny!  She treated each of us like family!  I loved her like a sister!"     Her Friend, Niki in apt. 110

"Judy my cousin that was as close as a sister.  Judy blessed to know you.  Miss your wonderful laugh and never complained.  Love you so can't say enough."

                                                              Pat Grammer

"LaDon and Family,
I met Judy in 1987 and have so many good memories i cant seem to pin point one.  Well maybe when Brendon fed the fish will always stand out. She was a quiet listener and always pointed out Louie's good points when we would fight and I would vent to your mom.  She prayed with me and for me too many times to count.  She will always be near and dear to me and my family.  Her words of encouragement will be remembered for years to come."  Love Karen & Louie Amanda, Amy and Angelina Louisi

"Judy my sister in the Lord, my confidant.  My go to and accountablilty gal.  My fun loving buddy.
                                                           XXOO."
                                                                   No name (I Think this might be Sue Thompson)

"I loved Judy so much she was my cousin.  Told her that many times-  she was so special- and know that she will be missed but Jack and I know where she is- back with her momma- + Jesus + Daddy." 
                                             The McClures

"She was a great bartender and we shared many great happy times."  No Name (someone from Sierra Meadows.)

"She was a loving and caring friend and I loved her. "  Erlene

"My Grandma was a remarkable person!  When I was little I always wanted to go to her house.  Those days are gone now."  Samantha Gill

"When Antonio first met Aunt Ju-Ju he loved her.  I think it was her gentle, loving way of interacting with children, not pusy at all.  He grabbed her face and gave her kisses, open mouth sloppy kisses on her chin and smiled at everything she said because he knew how beautiful she is."  Antonio Cruz's story told by his momma Ida

"I'll  never forget how a dove wouldn't fly away on the side of my house.  I knew right where to take it, Grandma Ju-Ju's house.  When I got it there , Judy said she had a dove that had no companion.  It was meant to be, the doves fell in love and soon there were small doves.  She was a blessing with all of her birds!  There was so much peace there!  I love you Judy!"  Robin Barnett Daughter-in-law

" Our Judy was an amazing person.  Even with her handicaps, she was friendly, outgoing and loving.  She had a wicked sense of humor.  She is greatly loved and will be sorely issed."  (Computer Lynn) Lynn

"From the window of my heart I will see Judy walking with her dogs outside carrying her coffee cup.  (Smiley face)  Now she is walking with new eyes with the Lord.  RIP Judy you will be truely missed."  Paula 226 Sierra Meadows

After my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer I was visiting at my Aunt LaDon's.  I played the song, What A Difference A Day Makes, on my phone and shared a dance with my lovely grandmother Judy."  With Love, Jake Barnett

"Aunt Judy yelling at every bum that we pass, "That's my boyfriend!""  Danny Poncey

"I will never forget one time when I was about 12,  I had a paper route which meant I would have to get up in the morning and fold and deliver about 100 papers for people. I would usually do this on my bike.  One time I was so sick and my mom knew I had to deliver these papers.  She got up early folded the papers and took me in her car I knew the route and she threw the papers.  She did alot of things like that she was very kind and compassionate.  I will always cherish these things in my heart!  It is not goodbye mom, it's just see you later!" 
Love LaDon Gill

 "My favorite memory is Aunt Ju-Ju's kindness, love and wisdom.  Always there to listen to me."  Unknown

"My favorite memory of my sister is how she would always have a pot of bean on, the bed ready with clean sheets, fresh coffee and a smile from ear to ear at the front gate when she would greet us."  Norma June Cruz

"Having a fresh cup of coffee and visiting." Unknown

"Every memory is an amazing one that will never be forgotten! "    Unknown

     

 

                                                                              

 

115 days...

Three months and twenty four days...That is all the time we had from the early diagnosis to her journey to heaven.  I feel like we had an incredible gift to know how precious our time was.  I am thankful for my mother's decision to have pictures taken early on.

I spoke with my Aunt Ruthie on the phone yesterday and she shared with me her last visit with my mom and we laughed and cried as we talked about what a void she left in our lives.  I am not sad all the time but have moments of sadness, where I feel all alone and orphaned.  I think to myself there are so many things I needed to ask her, but now it is too late.  I yearn to hear her voice on the phone or feel the gentle touch of her hands on my shoulder. 

I think about that blonde joke, There are three ladies on a desert island a Blonde, Brunette and a Red head.  They walk along a beach and find and rub a genies lamp, out comes a genie and grants them each one wish.  The Brunette says, "I want to go home"  poof she was transported home.  The Red head says, I'd like to go to a yankees game.  "Poof"  there she goes.  The Blonde says, "I wish my friends were back here with me!" ... I don't want to be that blonde to wish my mother were here. 

I have made some serious changes to my way of thinking.  I will never again think; "I can do this tomorrow."  I am going to always try to do it TODAY! because Tomorrow may never come. 
I am eating off the fine china and I am sleeping under the good quilt too! and most importantly I am always going to eat dessert first!  I have decided to try to live the rest of my life with no regrets.  I am not delusional, I know that there might be some, but if there are, I am not going to sweat the small stuff!  Life is way too short!

Lots of stuff to do...

Today I have lots of stuff to do.  I have to pack up and clean my mom's apartment.  I got up with the girls and got them off to school and couldn't find my keys, so I thought I would just crawl into the freshly made bed and rest for a few minutes.  I woke up at 1PM Ugh!  I feel like I am rested, but the entire day has been wasted.  I took the time to clean my house and find places to put all the beautiful flowers from the service. 


My mom's dog, Princess has been a close companion.  she is mourning the loss of her master but trying really hard to be my dog too.  I feel like we are reassuring each other.  I took this picture the day after my mom passed away Princess just climbed onto my chair and burrowed her head under the covers until just her face peeked out from the fluffy green blanket. 

I laugh, as I look at these pictures, because this is exactly how I felt today, all safe and comfy in my bed.

Obituary

Judy Barnett

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Judy Riggs Goldsmith Barnett Judy Olene Riggs Goldsmith Barnett nickname: Ju-Ju was born on 3-14-1944 in Kennett, MO., to Chester A. Riggs and Edna Jo Speakes. Raised by daddy Norman R. Goldsmith and Edna "Jo" Speakes Goldsmith. She passed away May 10, 2012 with her grandson at her bedside. Surviving family daughter: Joyce "LaDon" Barnett Gill (David), daughter in love: Robin Garcia Barnett, sisters: Ruthann Askin (Tim) Fernley, NV., Norma June Cruz (Gary) Union City, CA, brothers: Ric Riggs (Laurie) KS., Larry Riggs ( Cindy) IN., nine grandchildren and six great grandchildren. She was preceded in death: Rickey Norman Goldsmith (Brother), Amanda Ruthann Gill (Granddaughter), Kevin Michael Spencer Gill (Grandson), Michael Wade Barnett (Son) She attended Washington High school Fremont CA and COS. She was a CNA, Apartment manager, Cafeteria worker VSUD, Hannah's Triangle and Nanny. Her hobbies include cake decorating and baking she was an avid ceramic artist, and raised birds. Active in the Sierra meadows social club A few years ago Judy lost most of her vision but never let that get in the way of her enjoying life. Judy loved the Lord and was such a sweet prayer warrior. She will be sorely missed by all. A celebration of life will be Saturday, May 12, 2012 at 3:00 PM at Gateway Church Auditorium. Private burial. Condolences may be e-mailed to info@salseranddillard.com

Published in Visalia Times-Delta and Tulare Adv-Register on May 12, 2012

 

I thought I would share my grandmother poem she wrote about my mom

so many years ago. 

 

Judy

March 13, 1944, is a special day

Because God sent a beautiful daughter my way

I was so young, at the age of sixteen

But my motherhood love, was felt very keen

As I took her into my arms of love

Cheeks rosy and skin like a dove

I shall never forget, how my heart flowed with Joy

Because I wanted a girl and not a boy

And this baby girl; Judy, was the spark of my life

From the day she was born, till this very night

Not only today, but always she’ll be

A special daughter, yet my baby you see

For no matter how old or winkled or grey

God sent a beautiful daughter my way

Now that her faith is renewed in the Lord

And the word of God is her sword

I know that if in this world we should part

A beautiful assurance, I have in my heart

That someday in the sweet by-in-by, we shall meet

And praise the Lord and worship at his feet

And what a glorious Day this will be

Our blessed savior, we shall see

So now you see why this is a special day

Because she is a special daughter, in every way.

Written By Jo Goldsmith March 11, 1976

The bed is now empty...

My sister-in-law Robin, and my aunt Ruthie were sitting up with my mom when I woke up and I came and sat with them.  We watched as my mother struggled to breathe.  I had set her medication up to be administered every two hours but as we gave her the next dose she seemed to be in discomfort and anxious for at least 30 minutes.  I contacted the nurse on call and asked that we increase her medication to every hour.  It seemed to make a big difference.  Robin had already started setting her alarm on her phone to go off every two hours so we set her phone to alarm every hour. 

As we watched her in the darkness, I said: "It looks like she is crying."    She said just a few profound sentences while struggling to breathe.  She said, "I am dying"  and "I have been crying"    At some point of our sleep deprived evening, I decided to try and figure out what the dosage of her medication was in miligrams for the 24 hour period.  I thought my aunt, who is smart enough to be a CPA could do this.   We laughed so hard because the numbers didn't seem to add up, and then Ruthie said Norma would be able to figure it out.  We laughed about waking her up to figure out what my mothers daily dosage would be.  I think it was more funny because we were so tired. 

I contacted the hospice office because my mom would run out of medication and she needed it refilled.  The hospice nurse was very rude to me on the phone because I was explaining to her the dosage and said a syringe and a half instead of a dose and a half.  I had to pass the phone to Norma who corrected me and told them we were giving her .75 ml of the medication.  I asked if she was coming to see my mom and she told me she would if she had time.  I was irked by this. 

I layed down for a nap and just dozed off to sleep when Kathy Keiser arrived.  Aunt Nornie came and woke me up.  I stood there while she was assesing my mom and finally she said to me, "Do you have anything you want to say?"  and I very calmly let her know what I felt. 

1. We had a situation in April where I needed the hospice nurse to come and visit and was told the oncall nurse was coming three times on the phone.  We never received a visit or a call that she wasn't coming.  When Kathy came the following day she said there was a note in the computer that I called and cancelled the request. 
2. The LVN announcing that my mom was going to expire.  I did say that I felt Melissa had the makings for a wonderful nurse but she should never announce this to the family.  Melissa also said she would send out a greif counselor and someone else and NOBODY showed up. 
3. the social worker came out and told my mom she would return on a specific date and bring her lunch and they would have a chat.  She not only didn't show up but when I called to see if she was coming she told me she would call me back and NEVER DID!  The social worker has blue hair and nails that are so encrusted with glitter and crap, she could flag down aircraft from the sky.  I think she should be held to a more professional appearance standard.
4. The chaplin was requsted to bring a daily bread to my mom and when I told Kathy about it, he finally came and brought the book.  Kathy had left a message and said she'd given him the book to give to us that day.  He came to our home and announced that he'd been carrying this around in his car for a while.  I cannot stand being lied to!!
5. I told her I was disappointed with hospice because I thought our mutal goal was to keep my mother comfortable and out of pain.  I told her that It has been a horrible experience. 
6. I told her I didn't appreciate the way she talks to me on the phone.

you know they hadn't even ordered her medication until the nurse came that day.  We also discovered that after she left my mom would only have enough medication until 4:30 in the AM.   We had to contact the on call Hospice nurse Sandy and she went to the pharmacy after it closed and brought us some more medication.   We called her out again before midnight because we were having a hard time with my mother's breathing she had lots of phlem in her throat and needed to be suctioned.  The Hospice nurse ordered her a suction machine.  The hospice nurse also called out the chaplin from Fresno to come and sit with us for a while. 

My husband who was sound asleep heard the chaplin drive into the other driveway and grabbed his shotgun and heading out the door towards his car.  My sister in law came running into my mom's room and said, "I don't know what's going on but David has a shotgun and is heading out the door!!" 
I ran after him and caught up with him as he greeted the chaplin with the gun in his hand.  The Chaplin was pretty shaken up too!  This is still pretty funny when I think about it. 

The chaplin stayed with us until almost 2 AM and read the bible and prayed.  He shared with us his wife had just passed away eight months ago.  We said goodbye to the chaplin and Robin, Jake and I all sat around mom's bed.  At 3:15 AM Robin asked her son Jake if he planned to stay up with us and he said he did.  We decided it was time for another cup of coffee so we left the room for coffee and Jake stayed behind to read the bible and pray with her.  He had just finished his prayer when we came back into the room and she had gone to be with the Lord.  

the empty bed...

We contacted the hospice nurse and she came back to the house to prounounce time of death at 2:30 AM May 10th 2012.   We called all the family and I woke up my aunt Norma who was asleep to tell her.  We all sat around until the funeral home came to pick up my mom's body.  I went in with the nurse and we cleaned and changed my mother.  I felt so sad but I couldn't cry.  I felt she was rejoicing in heaven with Jesus and all of her friends.   I had cried alot before this day.  I am happy for my mother because her suffering is finally over. 

Your mother is about to expire...

OK, that sounds dramatic right?  Well this is what happened.   My mom's friend Karen Luisi, my Aunt Nornie, her daughter-in-law Ida, my niece Monica were all at my house when the  hospice nurse came. 
My mom was resting on the big comfy chair in the living room and the hospice nurse says, "Your mother is about to expire let's get her to the bed, where we can make her comfortable." 

So the next thing you know, everyone including me, is crying and we are in a hurry because we have just been told by the hospice nurse that her death is imminent.  We get her positioned in bed and the hospice nurse leaves and my aunt who is a nurse says, "Well, isn't it nice she gets everyone all riled up and doesn't take another blood pressure, while she is laying down, and leaves!"

My Aunt Ruthie is driving from Nevada with her husband and they are in Kingsburg when I tell her to hurry, after all my mother is expiring right?  She said they got to the corner near my home and she wanted her husband to let her out of the car, so she could run through the field to my house.  I am glad that her husband Tim, calmed her down and convinced her to stay in the car until they pulled up in the driveway. 

My mom continued to slip deeper into sleep.  We could wake her, but she was not responding verbally or if she did it was small words and short sentences.  My sister-in-law Robin, Aunt Ruthie decided they would sit up with my mom into the evening.  I tried to get some rest but slept deep and hard, for only a short time.