115 days...

Three months and twenty four days...That is all the time we had from the early diagnosis to her journey to heaven.  I feel like we had an incredible gift to know how precious our time was.  I am thankful for my mother's decision to have pictures taken early on.

I spoke with my Aunt Ruthie on the phone yesterday and she shared with me her last visit with my mom and we laughed and cried as we talked about what a void she left in our lives.  I am not sad all the time but have moments of sadness, where I feel all alone and orphaned.  I think to myself there are so many things I needed to ask her, but now it is too late.  I yearn to hear her voice on the phone or feel the gentle touch of her hands on my shoulder. 

I think about that blonde joke, There are three ladies on a desert island a Blonde, Brunette and a Red head.  They walk along a beach and find and rub a genies lamp, out comes a genie and grants them each one wish.  The Brunette says, "I want to go home"  poof she was transported home.  The Red head says, I'd like to go to a yankees game.  "Poof"  there she goes.  The Blonde says, "I wish my friends were back here with me!" ... I don't want to be that blonde to wish my mother were here. 

I have made some serious changes to my way of thinking.  I will never again think; "I can do this tomorrow."  I am going to always try to do it TODAY! because Tomorrow may never come. 
I am eating off the fine china and I am sleeping under the good quilt too! and most importantly I am always going to eat dessert first!  I have decided to try to live the rest of my life with no regrets.  I am not delusional, I know that there might be some, but if there are, I am not going to sweat the small stuff!  Life is way too short!