So many things have happened...

My mother came back from her trip to Nevada. She had a wonderful time with her sister Ruthie.  I came to see her the day after she returned.  She was very excited to show me all the things she had purchased while she was gone.  I had something very heavy on my heart to tell her.  On her birthday, my home was sold at auction.  We had attended a home preservation workshop the day before my birthday, February 23, 2012 and on that very day someone taped a notice of sale on my door.  The sale date was for my mom's birthday March 13, 2012.  Three people reassured me that this was not in their system and just a formality.  They continued to reassure me on the phone that this was not a true sale.  And on March 11, 2012 they finally told me they were indeed selling my home.  The house I shared with my father, the home we had painstakingly remodeled: the kitchen, dining room and bathroom.   So during the time my mom was gone.  I packed and moved and unpacked and moved.  Geeze we have a lot of stuff.  We have been married 28 years and we are on the verge of horderville! 

I knew that all things would work out fine and never once did I worry about this entire process.  I only worried that my mom would find out before we had a place and this would cause undue stress, on her already frail condition.  We were so blessed!  We found this neat, old, farm house,  just three miles away.  I never cried one time during the whole process.  I knew that God was in control.

I sat on her couch and told her all about what had transpired.  I broke down and cried and told her that I didn't want her to hear this from someone else.  I didn't want to be a disappointment to her.  She re-assured me that I was not a disappointment to her, that she loved me no matter what.  I just sobbed into her arms and then she says," I sure hope the hospice nurse gets here cause I want to go see your new house!" 

I told her that I had dreamed about this house months ago when we were worried that we might not have a home.  I woke up from my dream and told my friend Lynda and my husband all about the dream.  I didn't realize this was the same home in my dream, until I had a Déjà vu moment while moving in on the second day and it took me back, as to how much detail I remembered from my dream.

The hospice nurse finally came and left, and then we loaded up her dog into my car and I drove her out to see the new house.  She loved it!  She said it felt like she had been there before.  She climbed into my bed and took a three hour nap.  I brought her back to her apartment and gave her her pain medication and she went right to bed. 

She had been coming back and forth from her apartment to my house and we decided that she should stay with me because of her brain tumor and probably the pain medication she was very confused.  There is no one to give her medication there at her apartment and there were a few mornings where she was confused and anxious before I arrived.

  Hospice was kind enough to deliver a hospital bed and bed side table to my home.  Her bedroom is right next to ours and her windows overlook the blooming Camila's in our yard.  Bright pink and red can be seen through the slats in her window blinds.  Her door is a glass french door so even when it is shut I can check on her. 

Sue, Judy and Julie

Louie and Karen and Judy



Kelley and Grace, Joseph and Judy

I have had lots of special angel friends of my moms who have been an enormous help.  I have had to move a little at a time all the rest of our stuff over and her friends Arlene and Betty were gracious enough to offer to come over on Monday and sit with her while I went off to move and pack my stuff.  Tuesday her dear friend; Karen, came all the way from Woodlake, to stay with my mom,  Wednesday her friend Sue came over and sat with her and this was her worse day she slept the entire day.  I was worried about her.   Thursday her friend Karen came back over to stay with her again and Friday her friend Kelley came over and stayed with her.  I am glad to say that I am done moving!  and I am beyond grateful for each one of these ladies who gave up their time to spend the day at my home with my mom. 

Birthday Day.

Judy in the 4th grade

Today is my mother's birthday and she turned 68, we had planned on my birthday; to go out to dinner for my moms birthday.  We have been talking about it all week she wanted to go to Fugazzis and eat an early dinner.  We made plans for 3 PM.  I called ahead and made reservations for a quiet table.  I received a call from my mom at 2 o'clock sometime and she told me to take my time because her bestie Karen and her girls were coming over for a visit.

I hung around the house a little past three and decided that I would return some merchandise to Home Depot. I figured it would use up some time and maybe she would be ready to go when I got there.  I arrived and found her surrounded by her friends  and Jennifer, my mom used to babysit for her family when Jennifer was a little girl.  After everyone left she looked exhausted.

I suggested that we hook up her oxygen and she said she was so tired and it felt "weird" to be this tired.  She reclined her chair and just laid there with her eyes closed.  I continued to talk to her.  She told me that she was still going to go with me to dinner, maybe she needed to rest before we left.  I told her to just rest and decided to kick back on her couch and take a nap with her.  We just got comfortable and her friends came in to check on her.  She told them that she was just, so tired today.

LaDon and Judy 

I told her, "Momma don't worry! We don't have to go to dinner today.  We can just stay here and eat your left overs.  You don't want to drag yourself out when you aren't feeling well."  She was so relieved.  I just know she would have pushed herself because she wanted to please me.

I made us both a salad and after she ate the salad, she was full.  I am very worried now.  I was hoping for a lot more time, where she was feeling good and now she is tired and she has a very loud wheeze.  I encouraged her to go to bed and told her I would sit and rub her feet.  (She loves to have her feet rubbed and I use her lotion and her feet are so soft afterward.)  I just sat and rubbed her feet and we talked.  She told me that she misses me when I am not there and then she said, "I feel like crying when I say this. so I won't say that I miss you."  Tears just flow from my eyes and I started crying too.  I cannot believe how tired she was and she still lifted up out of the bed and held me and tenderly kiss my head.  We broke into a chorus of "Blessed Assurance" My mom knows all the words I sang along with her and hummed through the song.  She said to me, "You know when I was younger, I had a much better voice,"  We both started to giggle.

I called my Aunt Ruthie and she wanted to know all about our dinner out.  I told her that we didn't go because my mom's health.  She said, "Doni that makes me want to cry."  I sighed and told her, "I know,"  and went on to tell her that, I am concerned she might not be up to making her trip to Nevada, with her this weekend.  I explained to her all the symptoms mom had.  I told her that the hospice nurse is coming tomorrow and we would have her take a look at her and give us her opinion of whether or not she could travel.

Teach us to number our days.

 I think every situation is a learning opportunity.  Today I learned so much, I think my head hurts.  I dropped my kids off at school this morning and headed over to my mom's house.  I knocked on her door and she was just waking up; she had slept so soundly, she looked rested.    She got ready, took a shower and I washed her dishes and dusted her furniture and waited for her to finish getting dressed.

The call finally came in from Hospice, we were going to first meet with a coordinator and then the nurse was to come after 1:30 PM I textd my sister in law and even though she had just gotten off work she was able to pick up her daughter Monica and come over to my mom's apartment.  So here we are in the community room, my mom, Arlene, Betty, Robin, Monica, and Claire the social worker from Sierra Meadows, and the hospice coordinator.  She explained all about hospice.  Today we learned that.

• Hospice comes in and takes over the care for the patient 
• Hospice provides all cancer medication
• Hospice can be stopped at any time
• Hospice is free to the patient
• Hospice can be something your doctor refers you or you can be personally referred by a friend or loved one.  
• Hospice provides bereavement counseling to the family for up to 18 months after the patients death. 
• You cannot do chemotherapy and Hospice, it's one or the other.   

I felt overwhelmed and asked my Facebook friends to please pray for our family. I am so thankful for all my friends kind comments. I really felt lifted up and carried by the prayers of others today.  My mom was just swamped with people all around her the whole day and I felt that she was in God's peace too.  

We were able to have a few moments of peace between the hospice coordinator and the nurses visit.  I read my mom her bible and her devotional Daily bread.  It seems like this was written just for us.  There are no guarantees! None of us can be certain of another breath. So the psalmist has an important piece of advice . . . a warning label of sorts: “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (Ps 90:12).*

I finally left at 6:30 PM when my son Robby came with his wife to visit my mom.  I called her later to make sure she was OK she said she was just having a little snack before bedtime.  Tonight she has stronger medication, I am sure she will sleep more soundly than ever before. 

So this is the plan, we are not going to count the days, we are going to make all the rest of my Mom's days count.  

*our daily bread devotional 3-7-2012 online