There is a protocol...

"There is a protocol that needs to be followed with four steps " Said the female voice over the phone at the Kaweah Delta Radiology. She told me that they are on step three and won't be contacting her until next week with an appointment for the Ct Scan biopsy. I thought if I called them I could speed up at least the appointment process.

My mom called me in the morning before I made my call. She is still vigilant about keeping her phone lines open. She doesn't have call waiting; she said she doesn't like it because it distracts her thought, when she hears the beep, which I would have to agree. I can't tell you how many times I have felt bad telling someone, "Hey my husband is on the phone, let me let you go."

I told my mom about Brendon coming to see her tomorrow and she is very excited. I said; "Mom you are loved, this is the time you need to let people love you." She gives me a deep sigh and she goes into denial, "Well, you know we aren't really sure it's cancer." I told her, "Mom, we have been told twice that it is cancer, we just don't know what kind or how bad it is." What a nice daughter! I feel like the cancer Grinch. For one moment you want to escape from reality, oh no your daughter, the cancer Grinch reminds you how grim it is.

Dear Lord please keep your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth. AMEN