Finding the words

Arlene, Judy and Mary

Finding the words have never been difficult for my mom until now.  Sometimes when she talks she subsitutes off the wall or different words.  It is kind of cute and the funny thing is that we know what she means.  She will say afterward, "That is not what I meant to say."  She is sad somedays.  I think we are in the valley of sadness.  She said to me today on the way to her house. " I really didn't expect to be going downhill this fast."  She woke up this morning and she was very lucid and alert and I thought well this is a good day to go see her friends at her Sierra Medows apartments.  She was so excited when I told her she was going she could barely contain herself.  She loves her "Golden girls" as my sister in law Robin calls her friends: Betty and Arlene.  

We dropped off the Uhaul truck and I had to pick David up on the way over to her house.  It was so funny!  The moment we arrived at her Apartment housing, people litterally lined up to give her a hug in the lobby.  She was basking in their love and affection for her.   She told me that I could leave her with her friends, so I used this time to get some seeds and stuff for our garden. 

My mom has to have her medication at 4 pm, this is important because, the steriod that she takes helps keep her brain from swelling from the tumors and keeps her from becoming anxious and confused.  It has to be given before 4 pm.  So I drove back to Sierra Meadows and there my mom was in the courtyard and a bench surronded by her friends.  She was tired, but happy, that I was there to take her and her dog princess home. 

She rested and ate dinner with us and after dinner she was walking back to her bedroom with me and and turned to me and said, "I don't think I have much time left."  and started to cry.  I turned to her and said,  "Well momma, that's why were going to make everyday special for you! We are going to make every day count!"   I kissed her on the cheek and gave her a hug.  Olivia was right next to her and she started to cry too.  My mom gave Olivia a big hug and told her she loved her. 

She never really complains that she is in pain.  I have to ask her, what is your pain level?  and then she always replies, "It is in my hips."  "No momma what is your pain, on the scale from 1-10?" and she says, "9"  God bless her!  She never ever complains. A nine!  I think I would be moaning.  I told her tonight to be sure and tell me when she was in pain because it's my job to make sure that we keep her as comfortable and pain free as possible.